The year was 1992. Wayne Gretzky was signing autographs at Guildford Town Centre in Surrey, BC promoting his new endorsement with Ultra Wheels rollerblades. My family and I stood in line for hours. I was wearing my favourite 99 jersey and was anxiously awaiting meeting my idol.

The lineup seemed to get longer with every step forward. It made no sense. I couldn’t see through the crowd being barely over a few feet tall and then all of a sudden the seas parted and I was next. I could barely breathe. I was moments away from meeting the hockey god himself. I was the envy of every kid in the world!

We met. We shook hands. I remember nothing. I may have blacked out. I mean I look alive in the photos but it could be one of those ’92 polaroid photoshop jobs.

We went home. My parents were walking on air. Their kid was gleaming and could not be smiling any wider. We sat down, ate dinner and everyone left the kitchen. It was just me and my Gretzky jersey. I couldn’t stop staring at it. It was the greatest thing I’d ever seen in my entire life. Then I had an idea.

I’m not sure where it came from or what I thought the end result may be, but I reached to my left and grabbed a red Jiffy Marker. Gretzky signed the 9 on the left and I decided to try and forge his signature on the 9 to the right. Why? To this day, I have no idea.

My “Wayne Gretzky” replica attempt was awful and the worst part was my mom entered the room shortly after I completed my Picasso. I’ll never forget the horrifying scream she let out. It was like when Jack Nicholson takes the axe to the door in The Shining. She was mortified.

She instantly took it to the sink and tried to scrub off my work. Alas, though, she was too late to the crime scene. The damage had been done and the legend’s jersey went from valuable to laughable in a matter of moments.


To this day though, in my eye, this jersey is the gift that keeps on giving. It shows not only that I met a legend in his prime and own a piece of art that’s superior to anything in any museum ever, but also that I am the absolute worst artist on earth.

How can you not copy a signature that’s two inches away!? Why would anyone even try to copy a signature that’s two inches away!? To this day these questions have never and likely will never be answered. The good news is though, to this day, I have a legendary jersey with two legendary stories.

Filed under: Wayne Gretzky